I Must Believe
Gail Mitchell © 1997
I must believe I’m going home, believe I’m on my way
That there’s somewhere a space, a place
Where I will fit someday.
Believe that, waking from a dream,
I’ll search for love no more.
That rest will come, beyond the sun
‘Belonging’ on a distant shore.
I can only dream of what that far off land will mean to me
Will never know, ‘til life is done
How it feels to simply ‘be’.
Home! Where ‘child-in-me’ can start again
No monsters form, no demons voice
No tear filled fears, no silent scream
I’ll live the life I should have lived
Before.
I must believe that, deep within,
There lives some ounce of good something to love in me
Which, on the other side of time,
Will from this bondaged cage be free.
I must believe that travels in this foreign land
Where all are strange and different
Will but pass, as shadows on a moonlit wall.
That when I’m home, these days and years
Will fade and dim
If they are remembered there at all.
First is last and dream is real
Pain is joy and wounds WILL heal.
In dim confusion Truth is rare
Seems foolish somehow, hardly there.
But Truth or none?
I would choose truth a thousand times
In blackest dark where light is past imagining
Than say there is no home, no love, no means, no end
Eternal doom without a friend.
I must believe, though life’s undone
And all that showed it true is gone.
Gail Mitchell © 1997