I Must Believe

 

Gail Mitchell © 1997

 

I must believe I’m going home, believe I’m on my way

That there’s somewhere a space, a place

Where I will fit someday.

Believe that, waking from a dream,

I’ll search for love no more.

That rest will come, beyond the sun

‘Belonging’ on a distant shore.

 

I can only dream of what that far off land will mean to me

Will never know, ‘til life is done

How it feels to simply ‘be’.

 

Home! Where ‘child-in-me’ can start again

No monsters form, no demons voice

No tear filled fears, no silent scream

I’ll live the life I should have lived

Before.

 

I must believe that, deep within,

There lives some ounce of good something to love in me

Which, on the other side of time,

Will from this bondaged cage be free.

I must believe that travels in this foreign land

Where all are strange and different

Will but pass, as shadows on a moonlit wall.

That when I’m home, these days and years

Will fade and dim

If they are remembered there at all.

 

First is last and dream is real

Pain is joy and wounds WILL heal.

In dim confusion Truth is rare

Seems foolish somehow, hardly there.

But Truth or none?

I would choose truth a thousand times

In blackest dark where light is past imagining

Than say there is no home, no love, no means, no end

Eternal doom without a friend.

 

I must believe, though life’s undone

And all that showed it true is gone.

 

Gail Mitchell © 1997